TRUST, thinking and some walking...

I am hoping to go to the lakes for a couple of nights this week. I think after my previous post it is certainly the right thing to do. I need to be alone and need go cheap, even sleeping in the car looks good.

I have basically been waiting for 5 weeks for stuff from work and have had enough, I was told that it was probably Thursday at the soonest before I would know anymore. It is disgusting not only for me, but the people in my team at work who are having to cope with being 3 staff down. 2 left and me being suspended for complete bollocks!

I have to buy some more shoes in the morning and take them with the trainers I bought at the weekend to to the see the Podiatrist, who will then make me some inserts for my shoes.

I have tried to create some challenges for myself this year, such as the Great North Run but never expected for "friends" to put obstacles in my way like they have. Maybe I owe them a thanks for making me stronger and making me realise who my true friends really are (thank you?)

I needed a big challenge this year (not this), I am in training for the Great North Run ( I will do it). I will never give up and will just get angrier and angrier until I make it, never give up...


I have come close to falling apart over the last few weeks but in the end I remember the greatest speech ever spoken "We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields, and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender!"
If you are British and don't know it, shame on you. Winston Churchill spoke some of the greatest speeches in some of the hardest times of modern life. Maybe one day we shall find a new true leader?

Sometimes I feel alone in the respect I feel for those that laid down their lives to give those of us the life we lead today. There is just no respect for the people that gave their lives for us. Why don't schools teach the pupils properly about the world wars and what they caused for the world and their inhabitants?

No I am not drunk, I just am often disgusted at the way we treat our country, people, friends and family.

While deciding what I wanted to do in my life I tried to look at everything. When leaving school I seriously thought about the army but decided against it because of my short fuse and being unable to take someone shouting at me. I have changed over the last couple of years although still not sure I can take someone having a go at me. My mother doesn't think I could, although she also said she never thought my cousin would either, yet he spent several years in the TA. Which is what I have been looking at.

I just want to spend some time getting fit with a group of people who you can TRUST, learn and enjoy being with. I would have seriously thought about joining the regular Army but obviously I have the previous concerns and couldn't afford to pay my bills on the basic wage.

As I said at the beginning of this post I am hoping to go to the lakes for a couple of days camping and walking. I would hope my final decisions will take place then!