get fit

i need to get fit and lose some weight again. Well not really weight
but some fat. I've put on over half a stone since canada and clothes
feeling tight.
I got an email about receiving my race number and chip within the next
10 days for the great north run, i still haven't made my mind up
whether to do it. I really want to, i need to get a long run pushing
10 miles in the next 2 weeks to see how i go.
I have barely done any running since my heart problems and not sure if
i'm gonna get angry with myself if i can't run it as well as i want.
Having said that, that is usually when i'm at my best when i'm angry
with myself, fire myself up.

Greatest 80's Hair Metal Song?

Is Motley Crue - Kickstart My Heart, the greatest 80's Hair Metal Song. It is for this week anyway, it's totally stuck in my head :-)

Mötley Crüe – Kickstart My Heart

truth and confirmation can crush like only someone who has lost
something can understand.

Yet with the pain, a new era dawns.

sorry

sorry i probably just bored the fuck out of anyone stupid enough to
read that last post, unless they really like music, oops :-)

earphones

i have been using some sony earphones recently that i bought a couple
of years ago when listening to my mp3 players because i couldn't find
my etymotic research 6i earphones. I finally found them yesterday
after a few months.
Christ i forgot how good they are, yes they are expensive, more than
many peoples mp3 players. If you like music they are worth every
penny, its like listening to songs for the first time. You hear
instruments and things that you never heard before.
The sony buds are better than what most people use, think they cost
£30 about a third of the er6i's and that was a cheap price from the
usa. If i remember they were £110 in the uk, worth every penny :-)

Car

I've been thinking about a new car for a while after spending a fortune on mine over the last year. I just looked on Parkers Guide and got a shock at how little my car is now worth, not much more than I have spent on it over the last year :-(

I did also get a shock at how little a month it would cost me for a car that is either new or 1 year old paying over 4 years if I didn't have payment protection, costs about an extra £50 a month though with the protection.

I keep looking at a Suzuki Swift brand new but its probably too little, another Mondeo grandad car would cost me about the same but would be a year old.

The other thing that's put me off, is I really don't know if I want to have anything else tying me down. Then again after just thinking stuff through I'm not sure I would make much of a traveller I'm always ready for home after 2 weeks, lol.

where did it go?

i don't know what happened to the weekend, one minute it was friday
night and i was running, next i look at my phone and its 11pm on
sunday. Somewhere in between that i've done some gardening, cleaned
the house, read, paid some bills, watched lots of football. Watched a
film, spoke to some mates on the internet. Not much really, the
furthest i've been is a walk up the shop.

Should be a bit more happening this week, with a couple of meals and
hopefully a fair bit of running. I need to start a website i've been
wanting to do as well or i will never do it.

Think i will get back to my thrilling weekend and carry on reading...

The Doc Said...

I went to the doctors tonight and saw Dr Malone again, he was the doctor originally referred me to the cardiologist. I wasn't too sure what to make of him the first time but I liked him this time. Maybe because he was a runner as well, he's doing the Great North Run anyway.

I asked him about the tablets and how long I was going to be on them for, he said I would have to stay on them for quite a long time and said that it was kind of up to me. If after a year I'd had no problems and I decided I'd like to try without them then I could try it. He gave me a 3 months supply and said the Hospital only gave me 10 because the Hospitals don't want to pay for the medication.

I asked about the running and hiking. He said I was fine to do them but I will find it harder running and will get out breath sooner and find it harder than before because of the tablets. He used to be on the same ones. I was told to ask the specialist about other medication that would be better for running with when I eventually get the referral to James Cook Hospital. He didn't want to change the medication without the specialists recommending something else.

I see what he was on about finding running harder, haven't to stop my run tonight because of pins and needles which brought memories of Canada back. See earlier post tonight to see what I'm about.

Movies

I have watched another 3 movies over the weekend.
Eragon - 5 out of 10
Vacancy - 8 out of 10
Deja Vu - 8 out of 10

Eragon was the only dud the other were really good, I always like Denzel Washington films so knew I would like Deja Vu.

Die Hard 4

Live Free or Die Hard: Fantastic film, Computers, Action, John McClane, CCR & The Subways. Its gotta be my sort of film :-)

When I saw hackers at the beginning (crackers really), then heard the Subways playing I knew it was gonna be good. Threw in lots of action and the usual John McClane jokes and it still works even after about 20 years.

I gave it 9 out of 10 but maybe it should of been a 10. Just the daft bit with the plane!

Aborted Run

Distance: ran 2.8 miles (should of been nearly 4)
Time: 27 minutes to 2.8 miles
MotionBased

I had to abort tonights run a mile from the end because of pins and needles in my feet. This has only happened twice before on 2nd of June. Then a few minutes before my heart problems in Canada, so obviously I decided to walk. I walked from 2.8 miles (last arrow) for half a mile then stopped the timer on my watch it then shows a straight dotted line to end (not the exact path). I was trying to beat this run and was on course to do so, I was feeling OK. This is the hardest I have pushed my heart since the problems.

I think I can explain why the pins and needles happened. The Atenolol stops my heart beating so fast, but because I was pushing hard my heart was having to work more but was being blocked by the tablets from beating as fast as it needed to. So it couldn't pump enough blood to my extremities (my feet). This isn't good when I'm trying to improve my times and get fit for the Great North Run but fits with what the doctor told me, that will be in another post.

Short Test Run

Distance: 1.88 miles
Time: 19:09
Motionbased

I went for a very short run today, I set off thinking about doing a long run but I quickly realised that wasn't going to happen. It was hotter than I had realised, I always struggle when its hot. I decided it was best to do a short run, see how everything looked and felt. Then if all was well I could go out again tonight when its cooler and I have woke up.

My heart rate looks a lot better than it used to before taking Atenolol, more where you would expect it to be :-)

Hospital

I went to see the cardiologist at Bishop Auckland Hospital today, I had a couple of tests (ECG and Echo Cardiogram). The doctor said I needed the dose of the Atenolol cut to 50mg from the 100mg I have been taken. My heart rate was too low, no wonder I've been dozing off and been unable to concentrate.

I asked again if it was OK to go walking and running and he said yes although not today. My mother who was there because she had driven me asked about hiking because I wanted to go to the lakes. He then wasn't so sure and said he didn't think it was a good idea to go up mountains. I think he must of thought I was gonna be hanging off some mountain, if I'm OK to run then I'm OK to go to the lakes as far as I'm concerned.

He reckons I must of been scared when on the roller coaster and that was the problem. Everyone I see tells me something different. The things I have done and been through in recent times were a lot more scary than going on a roller coaster so don't believe his theory. Especially when I was fine until a few minutes after it.

Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz: I've been wanting to watch this for a while but thought it might not live up to my expectations. I was right for most of the film but in the last 30 minutes loads of actions happened and I ended up really enjoying the movie.

I didn't really laugh until the last 30 minutes, I'd already logged into IMDB ready to rate the movie 6, then all the action happened. My vote has been changed to 8 :-)

Off to Hospital

I'm off to Bishop Auckland Hospital today to see a Cardiologist. I got a call yesterday to say they had put extra sessions on this week, so there was an appointment available for me.

The appointment is 2 o'clock and I've got to take a bottle of piss (urine sample).

So hopefully I will get a couple of questions answered, fingers crossed anyway.

Powaqqatsi

Powaqqatsi: I decided I needed a thinking film and put this on. Its more a visual documentary I guess, there are no words only pictures and some music.

It wasn't all I had hoped, maybe I was spoiled when I watched Baraka. I haven't found anything in this genre to come close to that movie.

The plot outline of this is: "An exploration of technologically developing nations and the effect the transition to Western-style modernization has had on them."

I gave it a 6 out of 10 but I was left feeling disappointed but did get me thinking though.

Click

Click: I sat and watched this tonight and enjoyed it. I normally like Adam Sandler movies, you know what you getting. This especially struck a cord because of things I've been going over in my head.

If you've seen the film, you may not what I'm on about. If not go and watch it. I gave it 8 out of 10 probably because it fitted my mood and thoughts :-)

Kate Beckinsale looked gorgeous as well!

Music Lists

Anyone who has known me for a while, should know I like my music and anyone who has looked at this blog a few times will also know how I regularly make lists (rarely do anything on them though). At the moment I'm trying to make 2 music lists which are incredibly hard. My Top 100 Songs and My Desert Island Discs. I have just about every song for the Top 100 but can't decide on the order. The Desert Island Discs is about finished as well, just gotta decide between a couple of songs.

Just because people sometimes think I can be morbid, I'm also doing a short list to be played when I die. Thought about this one for a lot of years, lol.

For some of the songs I feel I should have a description of why and what it means to me, hmm very hard.

I Am...

Am I Wembley?

This is all part of my masterplan, now no one will have any idea what the fook I am on about, lol!

Grow Your Own

I cooked myself some Balsamic Steak Stir Fry, I got the recipe off the Tesco site. It was very nice although my mam interupted me while I was at the end of the cooking. She started going on about my vegetables being ready to pick.

So I quickly ate my stir fry, so much for being given chance to enjoy your food. Then went out and lifted some of my potatoes. I have 3 types of potatoes but only lifted 1 today, "Maxine". They are red skinned potatoes, wasn't a bad crop for 3 plants.

I also picked a cabbage but its not great most of the cabbage plants have been badly eaten by stuff. I didn't want to use any chemicals on any of the plants though. I tried some peas as well but they need a little bit longer to fatten. The strawberry was nice but was only 1 ripe. Oh forgot about the Courgettes I picked another 4 :-)

Transformers

Transformers: I went to see this tonight at the Metro Centre with some free tickets I'd been given. I really enjoyed it, lots of action and sort of like reliving my youth. Although they had updated some of the characters a bit to make them look more modern.

I found myself in the beginning recognising various people from TV Shows like Las Vegas, 24, X-files...

I gave the movie 8 out of 10, worth going to see :-)

too much thinking time

now i am starting to relax i think i have too much time to think. It
was probably a bad idea to listen to REM but ended up with tears in my
eyes remembering when i first reached the hospital in Toronto. I was
wheeled in to the hospital and stopped in what looked like a corridor
i could see at least one other person on a bed further over from me.
It was hard to tell because there was so many people around me. I
looked up at the monitor and think it read 218bpm. I looked to my left
at a couple of the medical staff, i thought i could see worry and
slight panic in their eyes. That's when i thought is this it, am i
gonna end my days in a corridor, in a strange country, alone. Kay was
there somewhere behind me i think and i was surrounded by medical
staff but not exactly anyone there who loved me or doing something i
love or spectacular. Didn't want to go like that. In reality i was
probably never anywhere near that happening but i didn't know that
then and still don't know now.

Although it sounds bad this is what i hoped would happen now while i'm
off. I don't mean die, lol. I wanted to actually take in what happened
and go over it in my head. Since it happened, its been like a
whirlwind, never getting chance to just sit and take stock. When i was
telling people what happened it was like i was telling a story about
someone else, not me.

The days after getting out of the hospital i was being constantly told
my faults, of which i have many. Maybe it was the right time to tell
me or maybe not, i think i was absent from my body most of the time
while in canada. No i wasn't on drugs, except the same ones the doc
has me on now. What i'm on about is i just wasn't myself. Still not
entirely sure why. Partly the tablets, partly not wanting to offend,
lots of reasons...

I need to stop writing stuff like this on here and keep it to my other
blog that only i have access to.

Hopefully now i am starting to take things in, i can make some
decisions rather than avoiding such things.

Not a lot

I haven't done a lot today. I filled out my travel insurance claim form and had to go to the doctors to ask for the original invoice I had been given in Canada. The insurance needed originals, I had taken a copy of it and handed it to the doctor because it had a break down of all the tests they had done.

The surgery said they had attached it to the referral letter to the Cardiologist, which was still upstairs because the letter had only been signed yesterday. So they had spent nearly 2 weeks and hadn't even sent it off yet, there is a postal strike tomorrow, so the earliest its gonna get there is Friday. They said it took about a month, I'm presuming that wasn't including taking 2 weeks to do the letter.

Not too keen on driving anywhere during the middle of the day anymore, I had to drive down to Crook twice to do with my insurance letter and felt very very tired both times. I'm pleased it was only 1.5 miles each way.

I spent a bit of time scanning my documents into the computer today, so I could find them easily if I wanted. I can do a search for bills and anything I've scanned in now. When I set it up I would be able to login from the Web and view stuff from anywhere in the world if I needed to, like I'm gonna be going anywhere, lol.

I would of liked to of gone to the lakes but don't think I'm safe driving that far at the momentm although If I drive early or late I would be OK.