Today i made what has probably been one of worst decisions for some time :-(
i sent some flowers to say how i felt but it went very very wrong. I have totally upset her and not sure she will ever talk to me again.
I should of thought with my head rather than my heart. Trying to stay positive but dont really think i can.
What i really feel like doing is getting in the car and not coming back for some time. i have managed to completly fuck up the only thing in my life i care about and now have nothing that matters left.
I really need some time away but cant take time off because i have to take a training course in the exact office i would really rather not go to.
I just hope things work out, think i am only just holding things together. if i won the lottery tomorrow night i would give it away to sort this out!
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