Strange

I had a strange night last night.

Can't remember if I wrote on here that an ex (Kelly) was trying to set me up with one of her mates. I wasn't interested but texts ended up going back between us. She wanted me to go out last night. I didn't want to go for a few reasons, being a miser and wasn't really interested as I already like someone else.

I kept getting loads of texts last night from both Kelly and her mate saying come out but I wouldn't. Eventually they asked me to pick them up from Bishop and I was wide awake so eventually gave in and went to pick them up.

This were things started going a bit wrong I guess, when I got there. There was 3 of them. Kelly, Trisha and her mate that wanted to meet me (gonna remain nameless). I thought I was picking up all of them but ended up just being the one. You can guess which one!

Normally I'm fairly shy when first meeting someone, not so bad these days but still tend to pretend I am even if I'm not. Anyway she got in the car and she was quite drunk but not too bad. She just kept staring at me, this is fairly uncomfortable. I tried to make conversation but not very well. I could tell straight away there was nothing between us (always been good at knowing if I'd get on with someone) but I still tried.

I asked where I was taking her she said we could have a drive around before taking her home. I though OK might as well have a talk. Then she said why don't I pull over, err right. I parked up and it was fairly uncomfortable as there was just no natural conversation and she just kept staring at me. She said she was checking me out (that kinda makes you even more uncomfortable).

Somehow we ended up kissing. I could hear a voice in my head saying what the hell are you doing, you don't fancy her. I think I led her on a bit without even meaning to. She said she needed the toilet so she directed me to her dads house. While she was in there I was so tempted just to drive off, but I didn't.

After that I drove a bit more, still trying to think of something to say but there was just nothing between us. A lot of that may of been my fault as I was thinking about someone else the whole time. I ended up pulling over again and we kissed again and I could tell things were gonna get worse unless I stopped it now. I was just thinking how I could stop it without hurting her feelings when my phone rang (Thank God!).

It was Kelly asking where I was and could I pick her and Trish up, they had stayed out. I said yes no problem and straight away drove to pick them up. I said on the way that they live right near me (which they do). So would be easier to drop my passenger off (name withheld) then carry on home with Trisha and Kelly. We had some trouble getting Kelly and Trisha in the car so decided to drop nameless off first then come back for the others. She asked if I was OK and was I pissed off. I said I OK, but really I was relieved. She knew there was something wrong I dropped her off and went back for Kelly.

Kelly and Trisha were a bit worse for wear, especially Kelly and I had to stop on the way home so she could get some fresh air. I was asked how it went and I told Kelly that I didn't fancy her mate. I didn't want to say too much while Trisha was in the car. I spoke to Kelly once Trisha got out for 2 minutes as they live a few doors from each other. I said that I didn't fancy her mate, I said I still did like her (Kelly). Not quite sure why I said that, I guess it is true but the whole truth would of been that I like someone else completely a hell of a lot more. Just I kept that part to myself.

I drove away after dropping them off thinking why the hell didn't I stay in the house like I was going to. But now I think it was a good idea because I totally know how I feel and am the clearest I can remember being for a long time. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, guess I've been confused without completely realising it!!!

The only problem I have is telling nameless that I want to leave things. She has texted me a few times today I ignored the 1st couple (bad I know). Although I didn't get up until dinner time so I did have an excuse. She knows there is something wrong and asked if she did anything wrong last night. Told her she didn't (which she didn't). I was honest and said that there just wasn't much conversation between us. She asked if I wanted to leave it, I haven't replied yet been trying to think how to say yes without hurting her. Never any good at ending things :-( (even though it had never started in the 1st place).

I better go and think what I'm gonna text her, even worse because she is a very good friend of Kelly's and I want to stay friends with Kelly. Anyway I'm off...

I owe both of them for ultimately helping me to sort my head out, been trying for months :-)

(There was no reason to keep her nameless but just decided I would)