Thinking

I drove into work slowly this morning and even took a back route to work, just felt like a change and a relaxing drive. I was still in before 8AM.

The last few days I feel like I am just drifting again, not sure exactly what I want to do. Decisions, I'm not good at them. I kinda need something to happen to kickstart me.

I really need to get out training for the Great North Run but have a total lack of motivation, too tired on a morning and can't be bothered when I get in from work. I know if I could just get up and get out, I would be fine and probably enjoy it. I did look to see what time the swimming baths opened in Crook on a morning. I fancied going before work but they don't open until 9, so thats out.

I seam to of upset my dad as well, I was fuming on Monday night when some files had been deleted from my server and knew my dad had been using them that day. But in the end does it reall matter. NO, they are only files!

I love having my own house but recently  at times wish I didn't have it. If I didn't, I would of just walked out of my job, but can't. I think I've decided to stick it out a bit longer, unless I see something I really fancy doing or get totally pissed off. Can't afford to just leave and don't want to just do any job and hate that as well. Can I not just in the lottery or something. Then again money doesn't make you happy, would rather be doing a job I love :-)

Darkfall

Darkfall: This is the first book I have read for a while and it was an excellent book to get back into reading, a page turner. It wasn't too long either @ 358 pages.

It's a Supernatural Horror about a storm over a building in Newcastle and the horrors that happen within.

If you like Horrors give it a read, I'd give it 4 out of 5. Another excellent book by Stephen Laws is Chasm which I read a few years ago.

Ben Nevis

Distance: 10.5 miles
Time: 5 hours 30 minutes

I walked up Ben Nevis yesterday, I set out with my dad but he didn't make it half way and had to turn back. He couldn't lift his legs in the end and fell over twice, so he decided to go back. I think that was less that 2 miles up at about 1600 -1700 feet. I carried on and there was no way in hell I wasn't gonna make it, even if I had to crawl to the top over glass.

In all honesty I didn't think the climb was too bad but this could of been because I was so determined and hyped up to do it. I can't remember ever being out of breath at any point. Normally I race off and end up out of breath but yesterday I paced myself which probably helped. The only bit that was a bit worse was because I had got it in my head that the top was at 4000 ft, so I was thinking I only had a few feet to go then realised it was another 400. Which was mentally hard when you can't see anything for fog/cloud and can't see anyone and on your own.

For some reason I started counting my steps from about 3300 feet, not sure why. Think this was because I knew that if I counted to about 1500 I should be at the top or so I though (aiming for the wrong height. This did seam to make me cover a lot of ground in a very short time and gave me something to focus on.

As I said though in the end it wasn't anywhere near as hard as I was expecting. The only real dissapointment was not doing the route I wanted to do, I decided to do the tourist route in the end for a couple reasons. It had been very bad torrential rain the day before and the tops were covered in cloud. I was also concious that my dad was sitting in the car at the bottom and it was gonna take me atleast another hour to walk the way I wanted. I did think about walking back the other way but you couldn't see on the top only a few feet so thought it was a bit dangerous to try and go down the other route. Nobody else was going that way either :-(

When I got to the top for a few minutes the cloud cleared slightly and I managed to take a few pictures. Most of the pictures I took were from below 3400 feet (cloud level).

In the end I am very happy I did it, but still think I need to go back again sometime to walk along the Arete (I shall not be defeated).

(Above) Looking over towards Loch Linnhe @ about 3000 feet (I think)

(Above) Just about there, you can see the heighest point and shelter towards top right. Yeah Snow :-)

(Above) The top, with ruins of the observatory and the shelter.

(Above) Looking over the edge from the top as the cloud cleared for a few seconds.

(Above) people posing for a photo on the heighest point.

(Above) Walking back down following a foreign couple, had followed most the way up. Past them a few seconds later as they stopped for photos.

from the tent

im blogging this from the tent. im in my sleeping bag listening to my
ipod and sending this using my phone.

well i might be in the highlands of scotland but you didnt really
think i would be totally out of contact, did you?

was torrential rain on the way up. luckily it stopped to put the tent
up and is just drizzling outside. spent the last 3 hours in the pub
watching the football.

right im off to sleep, wanna be up at 6 to walk ben Nevis.

its now my birthday

its now birthday, about 30 minutes into the day. i dont want this to
be another day, i need to start to make some important decisions.

most of the decisions i will most likely make when in Scotland dying
on the slopes of Ben Nevis from exhaustion. i am going with my dad now
so may not have as much time to think to myself but we will see.

i am already planning the next expedition, possibly for this sunday
but think i may be too tired from Ben Nevis to do it. Will see how i
feel and when England is playing next!

i have got some fairly big decisions to make about my job and personal
life. last year i went to Scotland on my own and did make some
decisions. decided to buy a house and to get off my arse more and do
the stuff i want to do. So i started then, but a lot more to decide
this year and more difficult decisions. Mainly because i no longer
know if i want to work with computers, which is always what I wanted to do in
the past.

anyway think thats enough for now will leave the thinking until day
time. thats if im not catching too many fish in north yorkshire!

No to Garlic

Something bizarre keeps happening in my house. I keep smelling garlic, I don't just mean a faint smell because I have a window open when someone is cooking the stuff. I mean like you are in the kitchen of a pizza shop, it fucking stinks. It looks like it is from next door when they are cooking it (I think).

Most people who know me, will know I hate garlic, makes me feel sick. So this is a nightmare to me. If it was Roast Beef, no problem. It happened for the second time yesterday, I even got my mam to come up to make sure I wasn't imagining it. It smells like they are cooking the stuff again, maybe the leftovers from yesterday.

I'm sure it is garlic coming from next door but have no idea how, all the windows and doors are shut. Can't smell it outside anyway. It is always about meal times. Although from the strength of it they must be painting the walls with industrial strength garlic!!

Enlightenment

I am hoping to achieve the above this week when I'm off or some sort of enlightenment. The main reason I took the week off was to give me a chance to make some decisions. Just hope I come back having made some :-)

I should take the week off the computer and have no contact with anyone, well after Tuesday night. Need the computer to help me plan my time in Scotland and walk up Ben Nevis. So will probably have 3 days out of contact. I will be having withdrawal symptoms!

Thank you

Thanks Ang and Val for you comments on my "Never in" post. Could do with finding someone like you Ang. As I kept telling you "you would find someone", you did :-)

Yeah Val, I'm sure your right I do have commitment issues. Not sure its commitment issues as such just a lack of confidence. If someone is attached, there is no chance or so I think of anything happening or matter if you mess up. So I am more myself, if someone is single and available and I like them, I go quiet and just totally stop being myself. I know I do it, but can't help it. Surprising as it may seam, I am actually shy quite a lot.

Even when those that are/were attached and I have been myself with, once they show an interest I clam up and totally change. Because I start seeing them differently and don't wanna mess up in front of them. But then I stop being the person they liked (me I hope).

So I guess you are both right. I'm maybe not that bad, but I have to be myself and stop thinking too much. Maybe if I pretend everyone is attached it might work, lol!!

Thinking back whenever I have ended up seeing an attached woman I have changed and gone quiet, so they lose what they were interested in in the 1st place. I've been far too honest in this post, back to being a twat :-)

Work

Never in

Until today I hadn't posted anything for 2 weeks. I don't appear to of been in the house much at all recently and when I have' I've either been watching football (world cup) or sleeping.

At lot has happened recently, I mentioned about Bon Jovi earlier today and have been for a couple of walks. My personal life has been quite good other than I am still single and can't see that changing anytime soon. Sometimes no matter what you do or say you manage to fuck things up, maybe thats just me. All I want is to find a woman who wants me for me. Thats probably why I'm single then, who the hell would want me. The only woman I ever go out with are attached, nuts or are using me.

Work just keeps getting worse. Simon is leaving the end of next week. I was out for a meal last night in Crook with the rest of our unit for Simon leaving. I had a good night. But with Simon leaving it means our unit will be restructured and most likely merge with Teesside. Big case of De Ja Vu from working at the Red Cross where exactly the same happened. That basically means no one knows where they are at with their jobs or what their job is gonna be, presuming we have one and don't have to apply for our own jobs (wouldn't suprise me).

I should really leave, but I just don't know what I want to do anymore. I am fed up with being stuck behind a desk all day doing the same thing day in day out. Things the people seam to think are interesting are just frustrating.

I didn't mean this to be negative but whenever i mention work it is hard to be anything but. With having gone through the exact same thing before, I know how that turned out. I was postive the last time this happened to me but can't be this time.

Anyway enough of work, I am off the next week and will be going to Scotland on Wednesday so I can walk Ben Nevis on the Thursday. I may go to Skye on Friday haven't really decided yet.
It is also my Birthday on Tuesday (27). Thats part of the reason I am going away. I need to do some thinking about my future...

Bon Jovi Gig

I went to see Bon Jovi in Hull on Tuesday with Jeremy, who I used to work with years ago. We had an excellent night, the opening acts were a bit crap. They were some local bands who had won some competition.

Once Bon Jovi came on stage it all changes, the whole thing was excellent. We were stood on about the centre circle of the stadium but at the beginning 2 bridges came out and Jon walked out to a few feet from us and sang the 1st song from there.

I could go on saying how excellent it was but I wont. The only bad point was trying to get out the car park at the end it took nearly an hour. Below is the set list they played.

Last Man Standing
Rockin' All Over The World (The John Fogerty Classic Made Famous Also By Status Quo)
You Give Love A Bad Name
Captain Crash & The Beauty Queen From Mars
I'd Die For You
Born To Be My Baby
Story Of My Life
Blood On Blood
Runaway
The Radio Saved My Life Tonight
In These Arms
Have A Nice Day
Who Says You Can't Go Home
It's My Life
Everyday
I'll Be There For You (Electric Version - Richie Sambora On Lead Vox)
Complicated
Bad Medicine
Raise Your Hands
Livin' On A Prayer

Encore:
Wanted Dead Or Alive
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Keep The Faith

Cautley Spout

Distance: 5.4 miles
Time: 4 hours

I went for a walk up past Cautley Spout today which is only a few miles away from Kirby Stephen. I needed to a slightly harder walk before I take on Ben Nevis next week. This walk wasn't very far but had some very steep parts at the beginning and nearer the end. The walk only took so long because we stopped for quite a long time more than once.

There are a few pictured below, they came out slightly better than expected. It was very sunny but quite hazy.





I have quite a few more picture and eventually will upload them all to my flickr page.

Willington & Oakenshaw Walk

Distance: 4.8 miles

This is a very easy walk but well worth it, I did this last Saturday before the England match. I have lived in the area all my life and never knew about the nature reserve (Hundred Acre Plantation), which was opened by Tony Blair 9 years ago. Yet there are no signs anywhere about it. That is probably a good thing or loads of people would go and it would get spoilt. It appears it is a well kept secret. There are 3 lakes in plantation and its just a nice place to sit and relax. If you do this walk keep it to yourself don't want everyone knowing about it ;-)

Unfortunately didn't have my camera with me.

Ingleborough

Distance: 10.3 miles

Today I walked up the last of the 3 peaks in North Yorkshire, I had previously walked Whernside and Pen-y-ghent last year. I want to get a few harder walks in before Ben Nevis later this month but I actually found this very easy.

None of the ascent was too hard, going up the last part of little Ingleborough was probably the hardest but still not too bad. Although my mother was shattered.

We passed Gaping Gill on the way up Ingleborough, Gaping Gill is probably the most famous cave in Britain because it has the deepest surface shaft. At certain times of the year the general public can be lowered down and given a tour but unfortunately not today :-(

After today I have decided I would like to walk the 3 peaks of North Yorkshire in 1 day. I am not stupid enough (or maybe I am) to go and try and do it straight away as its 25 miles. I am thinking about doing it sometime in September or late August by then I will of done several hard walks inclusing Ben Nevis and should be well into my training for the Great North Run.

Below are a few pictures from today:

Down towards Gaping Gill

Me and my mam

My parents

Music Madness

I got an email last night saying I could buy tickets for Guns N' Roses @ Newcastle before they went on General Release. I really want to see them, had thought about going to watch them in London. So when I saw that I asked a couple of people form work if they fancied going. One never replied the other said she wasn't sure. Rang Tony this morning and told me he was already going with his lass. I just decided to buy 2 tickets anyway. I'm sure someone I know must want to go?

I also got an email saying the Bon Jovi tickets in Hull had been reduced to only £20 plug booking fee and delivery, so came to just under £30. I contacted Jeremy who I used to work with and went to America with, he is a massive Bon Jovi fan and asked if he wanted to go. He jumped at the chance. So now I will be seeing Guns N Roses and Bon Jovi in the next month or so :-)

I have gone from never having been to any music event to going to all sorts this year. Just wish I had more money to go to some more!!!

Hi:Fi North

Last Saturday I went to the Hi:Fi North Festival at Matfen Estate in Northumberland. I had a good time and it was the first festival and large music event I have ever been to. There was up to 25,000 expected but ended up somewhere between 7,500 to 12,000. I would guess the lower of those to figures. I went with Val from work, she drove there and there was absolutely no traffic what so ever. I spent most of the time in the Godskitchen tent and a while in the Electric Arena. We did watch some live music on the stage. The best I saw live was "Dirty Pretty Things" who I hadn't really listened to much before. Saw a few minutes of Ian Brown and thought he was crap so went back into the Godskitchen tent to listen to Pete Tong and then Paul Oakenfold who were both excellent. They were the 2 people I wanted to hear more than anything over the night, so I was happy.

We did end up leaving early coz Val wanted to go and can't say I blame her. She did put up with 10 hours of me and she was staying sober coz of driving while I drank lots of cans of Strongbow that was costing £3 a can.

Anyway I had a good time, hopefully there will be another next year :-)

Saw II

Saw II: Sat and watched this tonight, had seen the 1st one and did like it but didn't think the second would be as good. So I had put off watching it. Yet I was suprised it was as good as the first and probably a bit more bloody.

Once again I never guessed what was going to happen, there was some good twists to the plot. Yet when you look back afterwards all the clues where there.

I gave it 7 out of 10 and would recommend it as long as you don't mind a bit of gore.