Started to Lose it

This morning I think I started to really lose it for the first time in a long time. I was talking on the phone to a friend who works at one of our other offices, I know them well and I told them how crap one of our programs is. We were also talking about some other stuff like my house and the hassle I was having. Then when I put the phone down, I got told off (I guess) for not being positive about the program that wasn't working right and being negative. To say I was f*cking fuming would be a massive understatement, I also had someone else in the other ear also complaining at me.

I could feel myself starting to shake with anger, the only times this ever happens is when I'm about to completely lose it. Just about every other time this has happened I have found out afterwards that I've hit someone (I black out and can't remember anything). So quickly got up and walked out while they were still talking. I really hope I wouldn't of done anything like that (really don't know).

Not really sure why I reactedthe way I did, probably lots of reasons. Was annoyed that someone was listening to my whole conversation especially when for once I was being fairly quiet on the phone. I was also pissed off because it had been me taking all the complaints all week about it not working, no one else. The main reason is I think all the stuff on my mind about the house is getting to me, supposedly moving house is the most stressfull thing you ever do in your life?

Anyway I was fine after I went for a walk for 15 minutes. Had a fairly good afternoon after that and have cheered up loads. Was funny when the same person (yes you Simon) was doing exactly the same when speaking to another of our friends and slagging the program off.

I'm sure I wouldn't of hit you Simon (I hope) haven't started to lose it that bad for a couple of years. Think I should buy a punch bag or something or could just use David. Then again he can probably punch better than me now :-)