Deep in thought

I've been realising more and more recently just what's important in my life. I had a conversation with someone last week where they said what would I do without computers. I told them the only reason I spend so much time on them is I have nothing else in my life. Whenever I'm going out with someone I barely use them at home just to check emails and a few other things just like anyone else.

The fact that I'm on my own and haven't got a lot else to do. Especially at this time of year when it's too dark to go for a walk/run when you get in from work. All my mates are always busy now and I don't really wanna spend all my time & money in the pub anymore. Did that for years with mates!

I'm getting old and it's time to really decide what/who/where I want from life before it passes me by. I think I know the answers to most of that but gotta do one thing at a time, getting f*cking pissed off with my house now. Can't sleep most of the time, not because of worry which most people presume but because my brain never stops thinking of ideas for it. Wish I could flick a switch and turn my brain off.

I know some people would say your only 26 but "live fast, die young". Looking back at the last 10 years I've done very little that stands out. Most of it is a blur of nothingness, I guess most people's lives are like this. I don't want to be like everyone else, why I can't I look back in 10 years and think I achieved something. Although if I'm honest I would be happy to settle down with a woman I truly love (is there anybody out there?), what more can you ask.
"Beatles - All You Need Is Love"

I guess this is one of those posts you said you like to read Simon, got a smile on my face thinking that someone maybe sat there reading this knowing what I mean (although probably not?) How can anyone make sense of the shit that flys through my head, I've been trying for 26 years and still can't make sense of it :-)