wont go away

i wanted to take this week to forget about work but unfortunately with
receiving my pay review letter today i can now think of little else.

over the last 6 months i have experienced quite a few highs by doing
things i have enjoyed. yet at the same time i have experienced some
very dark days. all the dark days have been caused by work and there
is no getting away from the fact that this job makes me angry,
irritated, frustrated and upset to varying degrees. what angers me the
most is that it could be so different it could be interesting,
educational, progressive and fulfilling. i want to want to go to work,
instead of dreading what crap is gonna happen next.and what
information is being withheld today that will make your life more
difficult and frustrating tomorrow.

i have been trying to stay positive while others around me in both
offices have been negative but after the information in the post today
how can i still be positive. i seem to be swimming upstream in a flood
with my arms tied behind my back with someone throwing stuff at me.
i'm still trying and haven't completely given in just yet. one final
thing to go, the merger. yet i hear tonight the hr lady who's top
priority it is, is on holiday for 2 weeks. she is entitled to her
holiday but surely someone else should be working on it while she is
away rather than having to wait for her return before anything starts
to happen.

i am trying to put all my moaning down on here now, so hopefully i can
forget about work for the next 5 days until after my holiday!

i think i will see about starting boxing next week and see how well i
can stay in control. need some sort of release...