Exercise

I must be getting into this exercise stuff. Just finished working out and it is 12:30 after midnight!

Chest and arms are pumping now. Gotta keep this up all the time now and not give up like normal. I think it would be a better idea not to do it at this time of the night. I am gonna be like a robot tomorrow, stiff as hell...

Crazy Frog

Jesus what is the British music charts coming to when the Crazy Frog ends up Number 1. The song it is using is good but would rather hear the original Axel F song than this version. It is the 1st song that started out as a ringtone to go to number 1 in the UK. I hope it is the last!!

Holiday

I got an email back from the hotel in Scotland. They dont have any single rooms for one of the nights I want but I can have a double room for only a couple of pounds more. I will confirm with them tomorrow after I have confirmed the holiday with work.

Now I've gotta plan what I want to to the couple of days I am there and the rest of the week I am off.

Digital Camera

I decided to buy a digital camera today from Amazon. I've been looking over the last few days and was going to spend up to about £220 but after reading reviews and working out what I want it for, I ended up going for the camera above. A Kodak EasyShare LS743 which was nearly £100 less than that. It does everything I need it to. I also ordered a 512MB SD card and a leather case. I wanted this for when I go to Scotland.

I could of gone for something a lot more fancy but for how often I will use it there is no point.

Walk

I went for a walk to Shotley Bridge this morning with my dad, it was red hot. We stoppped to have a drink and something to eat in the field in the picture above, which was full of buttercups. The picture is poor quality because it was taken with my phone. It was nice walk. I was going to do another satellite picture but can't be bothered stitching all the sections together!

More positive

Still laid thinking.

my last couple of posts have sounded fairly negative, so been thinking more positive.

I seam to of finally got myself motivated to exercise and if anything i am having to stop myself from doing too much.

i said i didnt have much to look forward to that isnt true will be looking forward to a couple of days in scotland if i can get booked up.

I will also of paid of everything i owe by the beginning of july except for my car. So should have plenty of spare cash which i am hoping to save for when another house comes up. Me and saving dont normally appear in the same sentence. I normally live for today where money is concerned!

Guess i should try and get some sleep. If i cant at this rate i will be posting stuff all night.

Deep in thought

I sent am email to the hotel in scotland where i want to stay to find out if they have any rooms available. Hopefully i will get a reply tomorrow saying they have a room. If so i will give them a ring to book it.

After my last couple of posts its set me thinking about all sorts.

laid thinking about what is important to me. My family and close friends are the most important things i guess. After that i cant really think of anything much. I have met several people in the last year that mean a hell of a lot to me but it appears none of them have felt the same ultimately.

i think each time this happens i learn something and or become a little harder or maybe just less accessible emotionally. You can only be hurt or used so many times before it begins to take its tole. This makes me sound like i am really miserable or upset, i am not just reflecting on the last year.

I will be 26 in 3 weeks and it is like the last 12 months havent happened i am in exactly the same situation now as then. Single, same job, living at home, bored, not much to look forward to.

Again this makes me sound really miserable i am not just totally determined not to be saying the same in another 12 months. Having this blog will let me look back and see where i have gone wrong and hopefully stop me doing it again :-)

Thoughts on tarot

After my last post i have been thinking more about the tarot. Why i sometimes use it and what for.

I tend to use it when i have to make some big decision or i am feeling really down and cant see a way to make things better.

I didnt use it for either reason this time it was just because i had been talking about it. Although i think it is a good time to do some readings and help me sort out a few things.

whenever you have a problem most of the time you know how to fix it or get out of the situation reading the tarot can help you make yourself more certain of what you need to do. I am always a bit skeptical when i hear people saying they were told they are going to meet some person and they give descriptions and lots of detail all from a tarot reading.

I am not saying you cant know this. I have written here about things i have dreamt and they are as clear as watching a recording then a while later it happens and its like watching it again.

quite often people are in a vulnerable situation when they have a reading such as going through a divorce and they only hear what they want to hear.

Tarot Reading

I decided to do a general Tarot Card reading on me.
Above is the what I dealt (Click it for a larger image).

Below I have wrote what each position of the card is supposed to show and wrote the name of the card with a link to some more information on it.

1. The problem of circumstance surrounding questioner (3 of Swords)
2. What he/she is up against (The Devil)
3. The distant past (7 of Wands)
4. The recent past, present (5 of Swords)
5. The near future (Page of Pentacles)
6. The goal, aim or ambition of questioner (10 of Swords)
7. The questioners feelings (The Fool)
8. Outside factors (6 of Wands)
9. The questioners hopes and fears (The Sun)
10. The outcome (8 of Swords)

I wont write what I made of the above reading, I will keep it so myself. I only every use the Tarot to help sort things out in my head. The whole thing with Tarot to me is to help me make decision and clarify answers in my own head. Not to see exactly what is going to happen.
This was the 1st time I've looked at the cards since about January.

Day of Rest

I decided that today I woul juze laze about and do nothing. I didn't get out of bed until 12:30 anyway because of being so late.

I can't really think of anything much I've done today. I laid on the bed listening to music for while. Watched some of the Grand Prix and laid on the lawn in the Sun. So as you can tell I've done nowt.

Had to stop myself from working out as I wanted today to be a day off from it. I should be going for a walk tomorrow morning with my parents. They haven't decided where they are going yet either Weardale or Middleton-in-Teesdale. If they can't make a decision I'm just gonna get up and go on my own.

I might go out on my bike tomorrow afternoon as well depending on what time I get back from the walk.

Chat

Last night I thought I would go online and check my email before going to bed but ended up talking to Wendy (pictured above) for about 5 hours. Talked about everything from relationships to tarot cards. It was daylight when I went to bed (about 4:30). We had a really good chat, we originally got talking a few months ago because she is one of Angelikas best friends. Haven't spoke to Ang much recently we always seam to miss each other!

Good day

I got up and went fishing this morning with my dad, we never caught anything but it was good to get up and go down the river for some fresh air.

I have been working out a bit more recently as well, lifting weights and stuff. My abdominals are killing me from the crunches but "no pain no gain". Hopefully go out for a bike ride, walk or run tomorrow or maybe a couple of them.

Had a good day, havent done much else went for a drive to Wolsingham but otherwise just watched TV or lazed about.

I ended up watching Test The Nation on BBC. I scored 45 or adjusted for age 54!!!

Boxing

I went to watch Nigel Wright defend his belt against Alan Bosworth. I went with a couple of mates and had an excellent night. Nigel won!!!

The fight was being filmed for Sky Sports and I ended up on TV twice!!

The End!

I've got "The Doors - The End" running through my head. Thats because it is definitly over between me and Kelly, I more or less ended it a couple of months ago but we had still been in contact all the time and still really cared about each other but I wouldn't let it go any further until she ends it with the bloke she is living with.

I asked her if we were going to catch up soon, she said "Cant see us going anywhere been apart for 2 long best to stay frends until circumstances change x". She is right and that is more or less what I said when we split up.

Oh well whatever!!! :-(

Holiday

I've been thinking about what to do on my week off next month. I want some peace and quiet so I am going to go to Scotland for a couple of nights.



The picture above is of the hotel I am looking to stay in, Amulree Country Hotel.
I have been in the bar in the hotel a few times before years ago when I stayed in a house in Amulree on Holiday.

Its the perfect place to get away from everything and go walking and fishing. I'm only thinking about going for a couple of nights but will work it out and find out if there are rooms available.

Long day

It was a long day at work today, i put my head down and tried to ignore everyone and get some of my work done. I managed to get some stuff done but was then on helpdesk this afternoon. I never stopped as quick as i was putting the phone down it was ringing again. Cant go on like this its ridiculous.

Just cant wait for some time off to get away from everything. Think i need to make some big decisions nearly half the year is over and ive done nothing in the same position now as i was at the end of last year.

cant be arsed to write anymore.

Liverpool (Champions League Winners)

I've just watched Liverpool win the Champions League. I was going to walk off and stop watching the match at half time when Liverpool were losing to AC Milan 3-0. Luckily I didn't and Liverpool scored 3 goals to level. Then won on penalties. If Newcastle couldn't win anything the next team I would like to win stuff is Liverpool, so pleased they won!!

Meet The Fockers

I watched Meet The Fockers last night. It wasn't bad but was hoping for a really good laugh but it never really delivered. There were some parts that were funny but was just average. Don't really like Robert De Niro in Comedy films.

Thoughts

Im laid in bed aching from my sickly run mentioned below but it feels good to be physically tired rather than just mentally tired.

I am tempted to get up and do some crunches and press ups but will stop myself and do them in the morning.

To me, I feel overweight, most people looking at me probably wouldnt really notice any difference but I just feel slugish and out of shape. So I am gonna have to do something about it or gonna get worse...

I am going to try and get my life back on track everytime i think i am getting somewhere something goes wrong quite often it involves a woman :-(

I was supposed to of been going out for something to eat last week with Kelly but she never replied to me and hadnt contacted me for days. It was her birthday today so sent her a message wishing happy birthday. She replied just saying thx. Asked if she was ok and she had been ill with a kidney infection would of been nice for her to tell me. She has again gone quiet so think that says it all?

Its another birthday tomorrow, the person who i said i still really like but i better swiftly move on before i make things any worse :-(

I have supervision at work tomorrow which is where you talk over what you have been doing and whats going on and plan things that need doing. Hopefully officially book my time off next month when its my birthday. Think i should book a couple of days in Scotland. Looking at a hotel in a hamlet where i used to stay years ago. We used to rent a house then but would love to go back and see things again. Its a perfect place to get away from everything and think.

Gradually getting things sorted. I have been working on totally sorting out all my finances and within 6 weeks i will owe nothing but my car payments. The total payment commitments i will have will be around £300 and over half of that is the car. So will have some spare money but want to save as much as i can for a change.

Really looking forward to some time off work, all i am doing is answering the phone. Anyone who knew me a few years ago would know how much i hated that. I am sure i said in my interview that i didnt want a job that was helpdesk and was assured it wasnt. it wasnt for the 1st 9 months but seams to be these days due to me being at my desk more than anyone else recently. Think its time i stopped learning anymore so i can pass more stuff over like everyone else does.

Simon at work has asked for 2 months off later in the year to take some time out. He is wanting to go to Canada and guess go exploring. Think he has maybe been inspired by Ray Mear. I would love to be able to do something like that but would get bored spending the whole 2 months in one country even though Canada has so much but would love to travel around the states as well. There is no chance of me doing this as i cant afford to, no savings what so ever yet!

Could go on rambling on for ages but think i need some sleep.

Sickly Run

I went for a run again tonight, really didn't feel like going but made myself go out. I think it was a bad idea, I got two thirds of the way round and was gonna throw up. So had to stop running, I was knackered anyway. Its not a good idea to have something to eat before running, especially not dodgy beef covered with dumpling mixture stuff.

You can see where I went above not very far but I am so unfit at the minute even this is hard. Last year I would of done this no problem but suppose it is only the second time I've been running in months.